So today I took the brave step to walk into a new Slimming World group as a new member. I haven’t weighed myself for a while and every so often I weigh at my own group but I strongly feel I need the support for my own journey.

The last few months I have struggled myself. I know the plan, I know it works and all my meals are cooked the SW way but old habits have started to creep in! No excuses for it really, just me giving in to temptations and not caring about the consequences. I’ve had enough of feeling this way, and I know I’ve gained some weight back as my clothes are starting to get tight!

I chose a group far away from where I live as I just want to be a member, I don’t want people to judge me for being a consultant.

I followed my Sat Nav to the venue and parked up. I have to admit I felt very nervous, just as nervous as I was back in January 2011 when I first joined a SW group. I’d previously sent a text to the Consultant to let her know that I was going to join her group. She already knew who I was and asked to be treated just like a member.

As I walked into the hall the room was busy. Lots of women were chatting away to each other. I had no idea where to go next. I felt as if all eyes were on me. I was looking out for the Consultant and could not see her at all. I started to panic as I thought maybe she wasn’t in today! I went up to one of ladies and asked for the Consultant and thankfully she was there! She was weighing her members.

I made my way to the new members area and started filling out an enrollment form. The Consultant came over and had a little chat making me feel more at ease. I didn’t get a new Member Talk, she said ‘you know the plan and what to do’. So over I went to find a seat in the horseshoe. Most of the chairs were taken up, people put their bags and coats over them. I found an empty seat and just sat there. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, looking around, checking the surroundings and the members chatting to each other. Luckily I had my phone on me so I decided to check my messages and read the news!

The group was really buzzing and more people kept coming. Eventually the Consultant started the session. I missed her ‘hello and welcome’ with all the noise from the members! They were a rowdy bunch! It reminded me of my group. I am a quiet Consultant, I sometimes struggle to get my members attention when we are ready to start too.

Yet it got worse, throughout the whole of Image Therapy the ladies sitting to my side kept chatting to each other! I found it really distracting and totally rude to the Consultant and other members actively involved in Image Therapy. Crucially there were a few times when I missed what was being said by another member because of all the little group chats. Again, that got me thinking, how must new (and existing) members at my group feel?? What important information are they missing out on? Does this put them off from staying for Image Therapy?

I got weighed at the end of group by the Consultant. I was really dreading the scales. I had no idea what to expect! I knew it would be a gain but didn’t know how much. I was surprised by the amount I’d let myself gain but at the same time I was so glad I went along. Had I weighed at my group, I would’ve ignored the damage and carried on regardless. After all, I didn’t feel I had to be accountable to anyone. I set my target again, I need to lose 1st to be where I was a few months ago. I am annoyed, disgusted, ashamed and angry at myself for losing sight of my journey. Every week I stand in front of my members and help them learn new slimming grooves, make better choices and find healthier alternatives. I was not just letting myself down but also my members.

I know that now I am part of a SW group again, as a member, I will concentrate on getting those weight losses going again for myself. I also know I can do it, I’ve done it before. If anything, now it should be easier as I know the plan inside out! I owe it to myself to not cheat the plan, I promise myself to weigh and measure everything that needs to, count my syns more carefully and most important of all, I will enjoy eating Free Foods without feeling guilty. I am done with the self sabotage, here is to a healthier me again.

To my dear Members in both Groups, my experience has made me realise that it is easy for both new and existing members to miss out on the immense benefits of Image Therapy. I wish to ask all of you to please be aware of this and to catch up with fellow members and friends before and after Image Therapy and not during it, and while Image Therapy is ongoing and you have something to share please share it with all members in attendance.